Parenting Series
I often hear parents asking about how to get their kids to eat healthy foods or how to get them to try different kinds of food. Well, the simple answer is 'You Can't'. Kids will or will not like certain foods and there is not much you can do about it, especially if that child is particularly strong willed. However, that is not particularly helpful so here are some things to consider when you encounter this issue.
Picky Eater
First question to answer is whether or not this is the battle you really want to fight or are there other more important character issues that need your attention and energy? If however, you are not dealing with a whole host of other parenting challenges in this season with your child, then proceed with care. Remember, good parenting builds trust and connection so when all else fails, look your child in the eye and remind them that you are for them and they are loved.
1. Lots of children can be picky eaters but particularly kids who have some form of trauma in their background. (not enough food in the womb, severe allergies, abuse, neglect, etc.) If you are caring for a child who has had trauma, I would advise training and support from those who know how to support you. In AZ you can go HERE for such training and support.
1. Lots of children can be picky eaters but particularly kids who have some form of trauma in their background. (not enough food in the womb, severe allergies, abuse, neglect, etc.) If you are caring for a child who has had trauma, I would advise training and support from those who know how to support you. In AZ you can go HERE for such training and support.
2. Take time to consider how many more foods you like as an adult and know that over time your children will naturally start to enjoy more foods so just because they don't like asparagus as a 2 year old, doesn't mean they never will. Maybe they never will, but there are plenty of other healthy options they may enjoy and there is time to develop a taste for other foods.
3. Don't fight this battle when out to eat, at a friend's house, or at a party. Out in public your child may already be in a position of uncertainty and more likely to feel shame or embarrassment over this than feelings of confidence and trust.
3. Don't fight this battle when out to eat, at a friend's house, or at a party. Out in public your child may already be in a position of uncertainty and more likely to feel shame or embarrassment over this than feelings of confidence and trust.
4. Start small. If you want your child to try peas for the first time, start with one or two peas on their plate along with another food that they do like. Knowing and seeing how small the task at hand is might feel more doable than telling them they only have to take one bite of a huge mound. They may resist at first due to how things have gone in the past but ask them to try and then say no more. Some kids will resist even more if you try to push. (I know first hand, just ask my mom - maybe not specifically about food, but you get the idea) When they manage to try it, heap on the praise. Don't give them more unless they ask. Remember, you can give them 3-4 next time around. You have plenty of time.
5. Many parents tell their kids that if they eat their veggies they will get dessert (Maybe not every night, but a fun option on nights when you know it would be hard to try something new). However, tie it proportionally to how much of it they eat. So one bite equals one bite of dessert. If they finished it, then they receive the full portion. This way they are more likely to at least give it a go and still have a reward at the end.
6. If you are going to have a meal that you think is going to be a challenge for your kids, make it the exception, not the rule. Always provide at least one item your child enjoys. For example: You are serving meatloaf - this is new for your picky eater, but it is what is being served. Your child loves Mac n Cheese. Make both and serve a tiny portion of both on the plate (and by tiny I mean 1 child sized bite of meatloaf and 2 bites of mac n cheese). If they finish both, then praises and more mac n cheese is given with no more words about eating more meatloaf unless they ask for it. This way they learn to trust you and won't be shamed or have to go hungry. If they refuse the meatloaf then no more food is given but they are not shamed. You are kind and sympathetic to their hunger and repeat that they may have more mac n cheese when they have tried their meatloaf. Maybe even offer to add ketchup or bbq sauce if they would like.
7. Communicate with your child that you also have foods you like and some you don't prefer. This way they know it's normal to have preferences. Model trying new foods and involve them in the meal planning and preparation, if possible, so they develop confidence and trust.
7. Communicate with your child that you also have foods you like and some you don't prefer. This way they know it's normal to have preferences. Model trying new foods and involve them in the meal planning and preparation, if possible, so they develop confidence and trust.
Good parents want to raise healthy kids that eat healthy food, but sometimes making food a battle can backfire and can cause later food issues that are unhealthy. Take it slow as you challenge your picky eater. Give lots of love and attention and hugs and affirmation for the foods they will eat and avoid shaming them into eating foods they don't like. You have lots of years (and meals) ahead of you so be patient with them.
